Beyond My Words
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 08:24 am I grew up with a book in my hand. I started studying writing in 1984, the next year I was the editor of our College’s Literary Magazine. I was published in my first Scholarly Journal in 1992. I don’t write this in pride. I write this in utter humility as I try to express an emotion and I can not find words or a medium worthy of expressing where I am right now,This week I have stood on two properties that I do not see how I am going to continue them after summer is over in two weeks. I have pleaded with people in my church to step up with not result. I have pleaded with other Churches to step up with no result. I have pleaded to the State Convention for help with no result. I feel confused and helpless. My wife can tell how hard it is weighing on me. I get futile support telling me “You can’t do it all.” “One church can’t reach all the apartments.” “Don’t worry God’s in control.” Yet, it is me who has to stand on that Mission Point and look Robert in the eyes and say, “I wish we could have a youth group for you but I can’t find anyone to teach it.” Or explain to Damian, “I’m trying my best to find someone to run youth night here”, then attend his funeral one week later.
How can we as followers of Christ set and watch Scrubs reruns and not answer the clear call of God to reach the Lost. We hide behind our families; we hide behind our schedules and go about our everyday life as people die without Christ. As I stand on that hill or at that basketball court, or the circle where the road ends, my mind rushes back to that first time God called me there. The kids, youth and adults who I saw God save are overwhelmed by the masses who have not accepted Jesus as Boss of their lives.
I stand there helpless as the tears fall and I beg God not to make me shut down another Mission Point. I then I leave with a heavy depression that comes from this compassion that God has given me and the world, and even the Church, expects me to go on as if nothing is wrong.
Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies, healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. "What a huge harvest!" he said to his disciples. "How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!"
-- Matthew 9: 35-38 (The Message)
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